All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
