5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize