my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
