I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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