i jhust puked up my retainher.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
