Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
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