So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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