Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
