She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
