also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
i think im in europe. pls send help
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
