I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize