Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
