Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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