She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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