ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
