Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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