By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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