my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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