oh god the rape fog is back!
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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