just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
