id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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