Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
