You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
