I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Randomize
