i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize