WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Randomize
