Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
