Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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