3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
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