thus making me awesome and them whores
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
