I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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