i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
