He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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