oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
