Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
