I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
