forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
