Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
