trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
