Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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