jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
