they need to just BURY HIM!
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
