belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Randomize
