the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
