I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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