Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Randomize
