How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
