I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
