But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
he was CRYING into my vagina
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
