Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize