we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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