My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
