I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
