If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Also, beer. Big fan.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
