I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Randomize
