I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
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