Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
