Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
