Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
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