And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
