Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Randomize
