I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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