The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
