you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
