What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
